From our observations of today’s most successful companies, we see that they have built sustained success through the work of strong leadership and high-performance teams.  These companies have transitioned from a less vertical and hierarchical organization—rolling the decisions and the work needed to be done downhill through layers of management—to a more horizontal organization, where teams consisting of empowered employees guided by forward-thinking, innovative managers drive the business to reach and exceed its goals for profitability and service.

While the way forward in business clearly involves this more horizontal approach, it’s not without its own attendant challenges and opportunities.  We’re talking about human beings, after all, and on any given day, we’re as susceptible to conflict as we are to highly-attuned collaboration that sparks the next winning idea.  Thus, conflict resolution, built from the twin foundations of trust and understanding, is critical to keeping groups of people performing together at their highest possible levels.

In last week’s post, we discussed some of the ways that managers and team members betray the trust of their colleagues and undermine the understanding required to move quickly and effectively through inevitable confrontations and conflicts that will arise at work. In today’s article, we’ll take a look at successful strategies for leveraging these twin foundations of trust and understanding for the benefit of everyone on your team. 

Stand and Deliver

Let’s start with the most important element of effective conflict resolution—stepping up!  The best leaders read situations quickly and recognize conflicts within their teams early on, and rather than avoiding them,  they step into the fray and put their leadership and problem-solving skills to work.  These managers view each conflict situation as an opportunity for all parties to grow and learn.

In this positive spirit, great managers and team members build trust and understanding even in the heat of resolving conflicts. Meeting conflict head-on, while always communicating a self-sacrificing, “for the good of the team” mentality, can earn you the distinction as a person of character within the organization. People see that those who take on disagreements and problems early on, and effectively prevent them from becoming bigger issues down the road, have a huge impact on the engagement and productivity of their teammates, and thus the profitability of the company.

Active Listening

Another key component of resolving conflict through trust and understanding is availing yourself to listen more and speak less.  Focusing on listening enables us to read situations more quickly, eliminating the element of surprise as imminent disagreements or issues are coming at us. Not only does active, focused listening help you build the understanding needed to begin resolving a conflict quickly and effectively, it also projects to the other party that you’re engaged in such a way that you’re considering the importance of what they need in the moment.

Practicing focused, active listening during interpersonal conflict slows things down and helps everyone involved gain better perspective, especially with their respective abilities to step into the shoes of those with whom they disagree. Slowing things down and getting everyone’s interests, wants, and needs out in the open and heard by all parties involved has a cooling effect that moves the resolution process in the right direction.

Consensus or Compromise

The ultimate resolution of any conflict comes from achieving either consensus or compromise.  Consensus involves everyone’s agreement, while compromise has the interested parties giving up some of what they need in order to achieve harmony for the team.

In order to achieve consensus or compromise, we must seek and find common ground among the people involved in a conflict. We define this common ground by first getting a good sense of what’s important and what’s not important to both parties.  As we talk out the possibilities for reconciliation, we must get ongoing confirmation of the perspectives and wants of others while clearly presenting our own perspectives and wants.

If we’re truly sincere in our ongoing affirmation of what those around us need and want from their work, we can reach consensus or compromise without damaging our relationships.

Again, effective conflict resolution is all about working on those foundations of trust and understanding. The good news is, if you approach people with sincerity, truly seeking a resolution that fits everyone’s needs, you’ll build even greater trust and understanding even while in the midst of conflict.  That is the ultimate reward for having the courage to step up, listening to others, and considering their needs. Everyone emerges from the heat of the battle tested, yet even more confident about the integrity and loyalty of those with whom they live to fight another day.

Effective interpersonal communication is the foundation for successful performance and growth in both your career and personal life.  Communication skills enable you to better lead, influence and build relationships with others by developing trust, reducing conflict and misunderstanding, and improving productivity. 

Through our work in leadership development, talent management, and coaching executives, managers, and employees at dozens of profitable, sustainable companies, we have determined a mix of seven keys to effective communication in the workplace:

1. Focus and be clear
2. Listen to understand, not to respond
3. Value and respect different perspectives
4. Identify communication preferences of your audience
5. Adapt to non-verbal and behavioral clues
6. Address or avoid sensitivities and hot buttons of your audience
7. Always be open, honest and accountable

In today’s post, we’ll discuss the first three keys.

First, you must focus and be clear.  This key speaks to the notion that you value your own time, and thus you should value the time of others you deal with in the workplace.  Get to the point when providing information, while avoiding lengthy, unnecessarily-detailed answers.

You should also remember to stay on message, being absolutely clear with regard to the ideas you need to express, especially within the expressed purpose of the conversation. To this end, you should answer questions directly and provide important information only. Just as the best writers distill thousands of words into the hundreds of words that pack the most punch, you should do the same with how you speak with your managers, colleagues, and reports.

Next, you must listen to understand, not to respond.  This concept is pretty difficult for even the smartest among us.  To make this happen, you need to apply common sense—listen more than talk.  Also, avoid urges to interrupt or object on the fly, without hearing out the other person’s thoughts in their entirety.

This should go without saying, but in order to properly listen, you should be engaged in the conversation.  Stop what you’re doing—put away the gadgets (smartphones, TV), minimize the potential for interruptions, and remove physical barriers such as desks, walls, and doors between you and the other person.

As you give the other person more opportunity to speak, be careful to pay attention to not just what is being said, but what is not being said. There are many of us who edit our thoughts quite a bit, never completely sharing what’s on our minds—a good listener can read between the lines and pick up these unspoken thoughts throughout a conversation.

Think through your responses to others after taking proper time to listen. Focus your attention on understanding someone’s message instead of formulating your response.  Being unafraid to give proper consideration, not only to what others have to say but also how you express your own thoughts and reactions, garners respect in professional environments.  Be patient in the process and remember that many people mistrust quick answers.

You must also value and respect different perspectives.  First, you must recognize the value of what others say and their reason and right to say it.

If you’re really seeking to value and respect another person’s perspective, you need to focus on understanding that perspective, not on agreeing or disagreeing with it.  Involve that person in even more conversation than you normally would somebody with whom you share much agreement, asking more questions versus making more declarative statements.  We’ve found that people tend to normally make statements at a rate eight times the number of questions they ask!

Ultimately, do you understand the other person’s perspective, or what they’re even trying to say?  If you’re not sure, simply ask more questions. Remember, your message is not about you or what you may want in a given situation—you want to know what the other party values and why their message is important to them.

In next week’s post, we will cover the four additional keys to effective communication.